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LOL!!! (Read 1677 times)
Hammer
YaBB Administrator
Lanticans
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Fire bad. Tree pretty.
Posts: 3436
Location: Ohio
Joined: Nov 22
nd
, 2002
LOL!!!
May 11
th
, 2006 at 11:02pm
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After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here
are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline
that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
- Hammer
The plural of anecdote is not data.
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Bob_Hansen
Senior Member
Members
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WOW, They have the Internet
on computers now!
Posts: 1861
Location: Salem, NH
Joined: Nov 24
th
, 2002
Re: LOL!!!
Reply #1 -
May 12
th
, 2006 at 7:10am
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I knew there was a reason I hung out here. Now I know what it is. Great stuff!
Bob Hansen
Sesame Database Manager Professional
Sensible Solutions Inc.
Salem, NH
603-898-8223
Skype ID = sensiblesolutions
WWW
Skype/VoIP
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charliebrown
Junior Member
Members
Offline
Beware...novice at large
Posts: 97
Location: Sacramento, CA
Joined: Apr 19
th
, 2006
Re: LOL!!!
Reply #2 -
Nov 21
st
, 2006 at 10:10pm
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Amazing...I have a new relational database and free entertainment! Not telling my boss...unless he pays a license fee;-)
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